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Author Topic: Episode 16: Come Back Down  (Read 138 times)
kellyzollo
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« on: June 03, 2010, 04:32:24 pm »

Episode 16: Come Back Down is released! Yes a few days early because I have a massively busy weekend. The editing may suck as erg um I had a fall out with the person who was editing the show.

In this episode:
  • Brian pays a visit to Austin.
  • Tyler gets on unwanted partner at the police station.
  • Shane has a crisis.
  • That and more in this episode.

Episode can be found at http://westlake.kellyzollo.com.

Also below is the author insights done in video format a new feature that I may do for the series can be found below!

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaWC-YMXNfE" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaWC-YMXNfE</a>

Enjoy!

Kelly
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« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2010, 04:39:20 pm »

Kelly! You have a vlog! This is awesome! I love it!
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« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2010, 04:57:05 pm »

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Kelly! You have a vlog! This is awesome! I love it!

6th time recording it was a charm I guess. I am terribly camera shy and public speaking shy so I am glad you liked it!

Kelly
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« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2010, 06:21:11 pm »

Hey Kelly!!!

OMG LOVED The VLOG!
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« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2010, 09:44:45 pm »

Hey Kelly!!!

OMG LOVED The VLOG!

Thanks Chris! I am thrilled that you enjoyed it!

Kelly
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« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2010, 10:54:28 pm »

I love the VLOG Kelly! so neat!  Shout
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« Reply #6 on: June 03, 2010, 11:10:42 pm »

I love the VLOG Kelly! so neat!  Shout

Thanks Dallas, I hope the new feature adds something to the series. I had a blast writing this episode and putting the video together minus my nervousness was fun too!

Kelly
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« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2010, 09:28:48 pm »

FYI: I"m reading this tomorrow on my lunch Kelly!
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« Reply #8 on: June 08, 2010, 10:08:17 am »

I found the editing for the most part to be up to par.  I would just caution to be extra mindful when using active verbs (seeing, running, etc...) to make sure the tenses correlate when necessary.

Quote
Sitting on the back porch looking out across the yard, Vanessa doesn’t hear the back door open or shut as Callie makes her way out onto the back deck. Sitting down by her sister, before wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

Not the best example I probably could have pulled from your prose, but an instance like the sentence in bold and italics above comes off awkward and fragmented.  It would have been smoother for me if the sentence red, "Sitting down by her sister, Callie wraps her arm around her sister's shoulder."


As for the story as a whole, it was good to see Tyler again.  It sucks that even with Paige's confession about the events that led up to Elliot Davison's death that the elusive smoking gun seems to be keeping him from finalizing this case once and for all.  Hopefully his new partner will be able to clear the mountain load of paperwork on his desk because that can't be a positive reinforcement when it comes to trying to figure out what they are missing.  As for the character as a whole, probably a little too early to draw any concrete conclusions, but considering how busy both Tyler and Callie have been, I can't imagine that a new blond, female partner bodes well for their relationship.  If they were to bond, I would rather see it done organically than as a way for Jamie to get back at Callie's mother for any lingering daddy issues she might have.

Brian appears to be working hard to sell us on his feelings for Vanessa.  I thought it was nice move for him to attempt to stop the publishing of the book, especially considering it provides a cornerstone for the reason he came to West Lake -- to find out what happen to his father, and in that same light, tell us a story of a woman wrongly accused.  Given the baby issue with Jake, and the fact that he is avoiding Vanessa now, it may be Brian's time to shine.  BTW, Jake really should face Vanessa head on and tell her what's going on.  The reason they are where they are now is because people chose to run away and avoid, rather than face the problems head on.  Granted, it's going to make him look like a jackass because he was working so hard to convince Vanessa that they should be together, and then he goes and has unprotected sex with Jessica.  Oh, the webs we sow.

Shane's medical crisis is interesting, and at least he was proactive in seeking a diagnosis for the recurring problems.  Of course, that could be the doctor in him.

I love the showdown between Kate and Vanessa, and I thought it was a wise decision to keep it in there.  It gave the episode an extra punch.  Kate didn't have to go and own up for her mistakes once she realized Vanessa remembered everything, so I thought it was good character defining moment.  Despite her current situation with carrying Austin's baby, I always found her to be a pretty decent person who has made mistakes because of her unresolved feelings for Austin, and the fact the man (Cade) she tried to move on with is so recluse and hard to get close too at times.  Interesting enough when Cade's finally ready to make that effort, he gets the news of her pregnancy and has had enough.  Can't really blame him.  I did like the indication that Kate didn't remember the actual intercourse that transpired between her and Jake, which leaves the door open to the possibility that they didn't sleep together and perhaps someone wanted to make it look that way.  Funny, I can't think for the life of me who would want to do that.   Whistle  While Vanessa would have been in her right to slam the door in Kate's face, I'm glad she didn't.  The affair was probably half a decade ago in story time now, and Jake and Kate were drunk when it happened.  It's clear to me there actions were done in malice, and the fact that they both have seemingly been out of one another's orbit since that night shows the great deal of regret that came with that night.

Overall, I found it to be an enjoyable in-between episode with many of the characters analyzing where they are at in light of everything that has come out regarding Hannah's death.  I'm interested to see which of the Donovan's will be the first to visit Paige.  Of course, probably even more dynamite than that will be the scenes between Paige and Vanessa.  Your boyfriend and one of your closest friends having drunken sex could be forgiven, but someone standing by and watching you spend four years of your life behind bars, I don't imagine it will be easy to pull the door back open on that.
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« Reply #9 on: June 08, 2010, 04:17:22 pm »

Hey Kelly,

Just read the episode over my lunch break. It was a nice read over all, I'm really liking the early goings of this season.

Tyler -- This scene I really felt there should have been more. I was hoping you'd give more explaination as to why the department felt like he needed a partner and also give more of his thoughts and feelings towards having a partner, and also get into Jamie's head as to how she is feeling. Tyler made it pretty clear that he doesn't feel like he needs a partner -- how does she feel about it? Maybe this is still coming, but the scene left me scratching my head a little bit.

Mary -- Contrast to Jamie, I thought her introduction was so much better. She's already set up to have a big storyline with Allan, and probably Karen but also with Brian and Ryan. Her first scene, I already see where Ryan gets some of his behaviors from. I sense we are going to have a grand time with Mary on the series.

Vanessa -- Man, her scenes just continue to blow me away. I love how torn she is over Brian and Jake; it makes so much sense. I guess it's fitting that she's still upset about Jake's affair with Kate, but the last scene was pretty intense with Kate feeling like she has no one else to turn too. That's so interesting. I also liked Jake's scene with his mom. I wish he had opened up more to her, but it's clear that they are close and he is struggling with what to do about Vanessa and Jessica. This is, by far, my favorite storyline right now.

Nice read again Kelly.
Keep up the fantastic work

d
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« Reply #10 on: June 08, 2010, 05:21:48 pm »

Quote
As for the story as a whole, it was good to see Tyler again.  It sucks that even with Paige's confession about the events that led up to Elliot Davison's death that the elusive smoking gun seems to be keeping him from finalizing this case once and for all.  Hopefully his new partner will be able to clear the mountain load of paperwork on his desk because that can't be a positive reinforcement when it comes to trying to figure out what they are missing.  As for the character as a whole, probably a little too early to draw any concrete conclusions, but considering how busy both Tyler and Callie have been, I can't imagine that a new blond, female partner bodes well for their relationship.  If they were to bond, I would rather see it done organically than as a way for Jamie to get back at Callie's mother for any lingering daddy issues she might have.

Thanks Ty I am thrilled that you enjoyed this scene. There is follow up to this in the next episode with Callie's end and Jamie with her father. I am really excited about the way that this transpires this season and the gun will come to light as well. I thought it was important to give Tyler a partner, seeing how Callie acted as a fill in for him with Hannah's case and because now that they are both working something new will be causing their relationship a bit of friction this season.

Quote
Brian appears to be working hard to sell us on his feelings for Vanessa.  I thought it was nice move for him to attempt to stop the publishing of the book, especially considering it provides a cornerstone for the reason he came to West Lake -- to find out what happen to his father, and in that same light, tell us a story of a woman wrongly accused.  Given the baby issue with Jake, and the fact that he is avoiding Vanessa now, it may be Brian's time to shine.  BTW, Jake really should face Vanessa head on and tell her what's going on.  The reason they are where they are now is because people chose to run away and avoid, rather than face the problems head on.  Granted, it's going to make him look like a jackass because he was working so hard to convince Vanessa that they should be together, and then he goes and has unprotected sex with Jessica.  Oh, the webs we sow.

I've always felt that Brian really is a good guy deep down and so is Jake despite him being every thick headed sometimes. Jake should tell Vanessa sooner rather than later, I think right now he is just trying to process how to tell her, where they will go from here whether that be together or separate.

Quote
Shane's medical crisis is interesting, and at least he was proactive in seeking a diagnosis for the recurring problems.  Of course, that could be the doctor in him.

Shane's medical crisis is a huge story line that I have this year for a few reasons one I wanted to sink my teeth into him more as a character. As well, as bringing him more to the forefront, seeing how last season he played more of a supporting role towards Paige. This story takes a lot of twists and turns so I am thrilled that you enjoyed it.

Quote
I love the showdown between Kate and Vanessa, and I thought it was a wise decision to keep it in there.  It gave the episode an extra punch.  Kate didn't have to go and own up for her mistakes once she realized Vanessa remembered everything, so I thought it was good character defining moment.  Despite her current situation with carrying Austin's baby, I always found her to be a pretty decent person who has made mistakes because of her unresolved feelings for Austin, and the fact the man (Cade) she tried to move on with is so recluse and hard to get close too at times.  Interesting enough when Cade's finally ready to make that effort, he gets the news of her pregnancy and has had enough.  Can't really blame him.  I did like the indication that Kate didn't remember the actual intercourse that transpired between her and Jake, which leaves the door open to the possibility that they didn't sleep together and perhaps someone wanted to make it look that way.  Funny, I can't think for the life of me who would want to do that.     While Vanessa would have been in her right to slam the door in Kate's face, I'm glad she didn't.  The affair was probably half a decade ago in story time now, and Jake and Kate were drunk when it happened.  It's clear to me there actions were done in malice, and the fact that they both have seemingly been out of one another's orbit since that night shows the great deal of regret that came with that night.

I struggled a lot to write this scene as I pointed out in the VLOG it almost didn't make it into the episode because I wasn't sure if I came off as to over the top with it or not. I wasn't sure it fit but I am thrilled that you liked it, beyond happy that you and others did. It was meant to show that Kate needed to own her stuff so to speak and that despite it happening years ago everyone is now trying to process everything that happened, especially Vanessa.

As for the Kate/Jake ONS scenario could you possibly be on to something...I can't say one way or another but very keen observation there Ty!

Quote
Overall, I found it to be an enjoyable in-between episode with many of the characters analyzing where they are at in light of everything that has come out regarding Hannah's death.  I'm interested to see which of the Donovan's will be the first to visit Paige.  Of course, probably even more dynamite than that will be the scenes between Paige and Vanessa.  Your boyfriend and one of your closest friends having drunken sex could be forgiven, but someone standing by and watching you spend four years of your life behind bars, I don't imagine it will be easy to pull the door back open on that.

I wanted this episode to be more of a filler to show where people were at with the reveals from season one and I am glad that you enjoyed it. Jake is the first of the Donovan's to visit Paige in the upcoming episodes which should prove to be interesting. I have a Vanessa/Paige scene planned for the end of the season that I hope readers will appreciate and love.

Thanks so much for the feedback Ty, it is greatly appreciated!

Kelly
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« Reply #11 on: June 08, 2010, 05:30:18 pm »

Quote
Tyler -- This scene I really felt there should have been more. I was hoping you'd give more explaination as to why the department felt like he needed a partner and also give more of his thoughts and feelings towards having a partner, and also get into Jamie's head as to how she is feeling. Tyler made it pretty clear that he doesn't feel like he needs a partner -- how does she feel about it? Maybe this is still coming, but the scene left me scratching my head a little bit.

Thanks Dallas, I had thought about adding more to the scene and there is follow up over the next few episodes why the department thought he needed a partner. Jamie has a very in depth scene in the next episode to explain her end of things, as well the scene was more of an introduction to show that Tyler and Callie will be facing a few new obstacles this season, such as work consuming their relationship.

Quote
Mary -- Contrast to Jamie, I thought her introduction was so much better. She's already set up to have a big storyline with Allan, and probably Karen but also with Brian and Ryan. Her first scene, I already see where Ryan gets some of his behaviors from. I sense we are going to have a grand time with Mary on the series.

You have no idea how thrilled I am that you enjoyed Mary, I love to write for Brian/Ryan's bitchy mother who has a few secrets up her sleeve with some very well known residents of West Lake. Her introduction was more because she is more heavily involved in a major story line for this season. I hope she adds something to the older adult class on the series this season so I am thrilled that you enjoyed her scene.

Quote
Vanessa -- Man, her scenes just continue to blow me away. I love how torn she is over Brian and Jake; it makes so much sense. I guess it's fitting that she's still upset about Jake's affair with Kate, but the last scene was pretty intense with Kate feeling like she has no one else to turn too. That's so interesting. I also liked Jake's scene with his mom. I wish he had opened up more to her, but it's clear that they are close and he is struggling with what to do about Vanessa and Jessica. This is, by far, my favorite storyline right now.

I think it is pretty natural for her to be torn between them. I think her struggle at the moment with the affair is even thought it happened years ago, with her memory loss it is still fresh in her mind. I felt it was important that Kate/Vanessa had their moment in the show to show that the hurt and regret was still very much there on both sides. As for Jake, my poor dear Jake he really is stuck in between a rock and a hard place with this one, and I love the relationship he shares with his mom. II am thrilled that you loved their scenes Dallas!

Thanks so much for the feedback it is greatly appreciated!

Kelly
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« Reply #12 on: August 13, 2010, 03:11:37 pm »

Scene One:
I see something fishy with Tyler's new partner, something isn't right with me. I feel like she's acting all nice for a reason. She probably has a very dark secret about the cases. Hopefully she helps his desk, ahha. That picture is what's gonna make everything come to light, I see it happening.

Scene Two:
Shit's going down, shit's going down, oh yes it is!! Shipping two days early? Ahaha, not good for Brian or Vanessa, she's gon' be PISSED yo! I'm happy he went to go stop the book from being published, showing how much he TRULY cares for Vanessa. =)

Scene Three:
Love this scene, I think it's exactly what Vanessa needed to have. Only she can decide what she needs to do, and just pray people support her decision. They're her family, they may not always like her, but they'll always love her. Personally, for some reason, I'd prefer to see her with Brian than Jake.

Scene Four:
Tense ass scene. Hope Shane is okay. Love the descriptions in this scene. "Crimson liquid" now THATS how you paint a mental picture in someone's head.

Scene Five:
I like Brian's mother, I think she's got a flare to her that we just haven't seen yet. Her interaction with Alan was tense, but I liked it. You could tell she just wanted to land and get her business over with so she could leave.

Scene Six:
Touching scene between Karen and Jake, lots of emotions flying between the two. You can tell that Jake is torn between Vanessa and a "pregnant" Jessica.

Scene Seven:
My oh my, Vanessa you go girl! Show Kate you mean business and that her fucking your man was wrong!! But I'm upset she let her in, I would she smacks her ass down!!!
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